My Eye Twitch.

The other day I was recollecting how long it has been since I've had glasses.
Im going 6 years now and I've had contacts for slightly shorter time period. You would think after 2136 days (give'r take a few) I would have perfected the entire movement of putting contacts into my eyes. But.....no.
I've had numerous experiences where my eye automatically closes once the contact touches my eye. When that happens, trying to pry sautered metal apart is easier than trying to open my eye. I look like a suffer from a terrible eye twitch. And then the eye goes red, like I've just hot boxed my bathroom. "No, dad, it's just my contact and the fact that it is attacking my pupil and surrounding iris"
And then there are the times when you try to put the contact in, but it slides off your eye. I've been fooled so many times by that one before. I am all ready and then BAM, I can't see anything because the contact as shifted resulting in my temporary blindness.
Currently I am dealing with the "i've put my contact in, but my eye hurts and feels uncomfortable". You know, its not quite contact-trapped-in-eye-because-i-can't-open-it, but more along the lines of "gawd damn-it! my contact is pissing me off", but you are too lazy to take it out and clean it. That is what I am going through now.
I'm in the proccess of trying to convince my parents to get my laser eye surgery. But that is a tad scary. My aunt had the surgery. She got to wear those really attractive sunglasses that old grannies wear when they have glaucoma, or cateracts or something. I think I could make the best of those shades, you know. Dress 'em up a bit with a scarf.... or a nice cane.