1 drink, 2 drink, 3 drink, floor.

Wednesday nights in Guelph can usually be summed up in homework, dinner and dance class for me. Except this past Wednesday was like none other.
It began with the usual, dance class at 7 where we learned pussy cat doll inspired strip-tease basically choreographed by none other than THE Blake McGrawth. I bent over, shook my hips and grinded up on myself to the rather catchy tune "Stupid Shit". Following my Demi Moore-esque crica Striptease era dance, I came home with my roomie to get changed and ready for a night on the town with The Crew.
My finesse night of drinking was inaugurated with what I refer to as "The Shower Power". Or basically drinking while I shower. With one hand wrestling the shampoo lid, the other aided in my pounding back of Corona. My outfit was rather plain, but still cute. I was in the mood to have fun, my get-up was not about to deter any of my abilities to do so.
By the time we arrived at the boy's house, of where we were to be pre-drinking, I was in full party-on mood. My poison of choice was, as always, cranberry juice and vodka. (It just speaks to me) As far as I can recall, I might have had two or three shots gone of my 26-er, so it was my surprise when I looked at the bottle the next day to see it was half empty. I suppose it explains my cloudy remnants of the night.
In a nut shell, the bus ride is a blurr, most of the night and the cabbie ride home is slightly painful to recall.
Here are some of the oh-so-pleasant memories I am able to recant.
For one reason or the other (of which I do not really care to know) I picked up a friend. He is not very big, but nonetheless, my doing so resulted in both of us falling backwards. It was horrible. I felt so bad for him, I was laughing. But on the inside I was cringing. It was embarrassing. And to top it off, I managed to make my big toe bleed. Luckily, ma cousin-a Erna had band-aids. For the remainder of the night I wore a fluorescent orange band-aid on my big toe.
While inside, after finishing my drink, I managed to smash my head of the blatantly large brick pillar in the middle of the room. It was an accident due to my throw-your-head-back laugh. I should invest into a new reaction when I laugh.
And to top off a "top night", I had to leave the bar early. At 12:45. Because I could not keep my eyes open. My cousin and roommate decided it was best to take me home. Of course we had to get some eats and thankfully cousin-a Erna had l'argent to pay for my pita. She later informed me the following day that her greatest memory of that night was me saying "Kevin Jonas will be so disappointed in me". I passed out on the futon and woke early the next morning. School was most definitely not an option.

What can I say? I am the epitome of Class.


It was a rough next day.